Old Friends, Old Dubai

Spring break has finally arrived. Last Thursday we had our Mother's Day program - Mother's Day is March 21st in the UAE. We LTs (licensed teachers) were expecting to teach the second half of the day after the morning's program but, Hamdullah, school adjourned at 12:00 and we were able to leave at 12:15. Freedom! Joy! To put this into perspective I have been working since Christmas break without a day off except for one sick day and one holiday. Additionally, we have had PDs (professional development) Sunday through Wednesday, for an hour after school, EVERY week since September. Understand that teachers in the USA have professional development once or twice a MONTH and interspersed throughout the academic calendar are professional workdays in which teachers are able to plan and develop lessons in school without distraction in addition to time off due to national holidays. In other words for the latter points, a teacher has time to recharge mentally and emotionally. Because in spite of what the numerous uninformed critics may think, teaching is a very demanding profession . . . at least on the elementary level.

My joy for spring break is compounded by the fact that though I'm off from work, my girls are not on break. Their school is still in session. So I get to have some adult time without children during the day most of this week. I won't be alone though because a dear friend from the USA has come to visit. I've kept the girls out of school one day to spend time with us and will do the same when we go to Abu Dhabi at the end of the week.

As just mentioned, my friend Phyllis, journeyed all the way from San Francisco to spend time with another friend who lives in Al Ain, Gary, and me. The three of us were as thick as thieves when we lived in Bloomington, Indiana. (I lived there from 1980 to 1986 while attending graduate school at Indiana University.) We are members of the same religious community, the Baha'i Faith, and met each other within the Bloomington community which was a loving and vibrant Baha'i community. That community will forever be dear to my heart for the spiritual lessons and of course, the friendships I gained. However, of the many friendships formed, the one established between Phyllis, Gary, and me was very special. Last night we were reminiscing about the specifics of how each of us came to know one another and become so close and we realized that the year I met Phylis, the three of us spent practically EVERYDAY in each other's company. (I knew Gary prior to that but we were not close friends - friendly but mainly acquaintances.) And when Phyllis moved from Bloomington to Indianapolis, we still maintained our connection because either she'd travel down to Bloomington or we would go up to Indy for visits.

I mentioned in a fb post a while back that I am fortunate to have friends with whom I may not be in constant communication but when we do reconnect it is as if we have been in touch all along. Phyllis and Gary fall into that category. Prior to moving to Al Ain, the last time Gary and I were together was in 1987 and we had not been in touch since then. Phyllis came to visit me in Miami in 1992 or '93 and that was the last time we had been together. With the exception of a brief phone call to let her know about the birth of my children in 2000, she and I were incommunicado until . . . the advent of Facebook. It might have been three years ago that I received a friend request from her. From that humble request we reconnected and I went to visit her in San Francisco year before last.

As I made my decision to move to the UAE, I informed Phyllis because she had lived in Saudi Arabia for four years and I wanted to see what her thoughts might be. Phyllis was enthusiastic; she wholeheartedly gave me support without any reservation or concern about safety or cultural issues. She then told me that she thought that Gary was living in the UAE and that she'd contact him to find out which emirate and city. Lo and behold a few weeks later she wrote to tell me that he lived in Abu Dhabi and specifically in Al Ain! This was a serendipitous coincidence which made my moving here both less anxious and more exciting. Fast forward to this week and we are reunited to create new memories. Memories that now include my daughters who have embraced and been embraced by my wonderful friends.

Phyllis had been Dubai about 15 years ago while she was living in Saudi but to say that Dubai has changed since that time is an understatement. We spent the weekend there visiting the old section of the city - the Bastakiya, sailing on Dubai Creek, and shopping in the old souk. Of all the places I've visited in Dubai up to this point in my journey, I can say old Dubai is the part of the city I love the most. The girls and I said we will go back there time and time again just to meander the alleyways and galleries because it is, for lack of a better word, charming.

M&I compare Dubai to Miami and Al Ain to Florida's capital, Tallahassee. As we prepared to leave, they said that it was now time to go back to Tallahassee and though they liked Dubai, they loved Al Ain and wouldn't want to live anywhere else. (Which is funny because they LOVE Miami and do not like Tallahasse.) Still, I guess that's how it is with old and new friends: you really like your new friends and enjoy the new experiences and excitement of creating a new relationship. But the familiarity, depth of connection, and abiding love of old friends dwells deep within our hearts and we cherish them mightily.

Mama needed help; mama got a wife. Not a husband, mind you, but a wife. Wives generally are the ones who take care of hearth and home. Typically, but not always, it is the wife who is the stay-at-home parent while the husband is out earning the family's keep. Well since I am the one earning my family's keep here, I needed to get a "wife". Other Westerners here have solved this dilemma by sponsoring nannies. This is done by both married couples with families and single parents. (Sponsoring nannies is de rigueur for Emiratis. In fact it is not unusual to see an Emirati family with two nannies in tow.) I too could sponsor a nanny and solve all of my domestic needs in one fell swoop but I have passed that point in my life where I'd like someone other than my children living in my home with me. Maybe if I lived in a villa, it would be different but as I do not, I am crafting a solution which is the sum of its parts.

You know how it is said that it takes a village to raise a child? Well, for me it takes more than one woman to make a wife. I'm in the process of creating a Frakenwife, if you will. After a long and HARD day at work (LTs, I know you "feel" me on this point), I am in no condition to come home to cook, clean, iron, and attend to my children too. Sure, there's the weekend but who wants to spend down time chained to household chores. I sure as H don't! Therefore, the first organ that was crafted, the foundation, so to speak, was the maid. I observed the meticulous nature of one of the cleaners at my school and as they could always benefit from additional income, I approached her with the offer to clean my home. Best decision. Now every two weeks I come home to clean serenity. Remember I live in a desert. A home here gets mighty dusty, mighty fast. Knowing that it's not me who has to sweep that sand off the balcony or dust the furniture always makes me smile.

Then there was the ironing. My work clothes, the girls' uniforms all have to be ironed. I did not purchase a dryer because who needs one when you live in a desert climate? (I could say it was because I was being green and conserving electricity, but the only thing I was conserving were my dirhams.) Anyone who has hung clothes to dry knows that they dry stiff and extremely wrinkled. Thus the need to iron. I hate ironing! After several months of that torture, I came to my senses and decided to take my cleaned clothes to the launderers to iron. They're male so I guess technically they could be considered part husband, but I'm not going to quibble about gender as long as the job gets done. And this part of my Frankenwife does great work and is very accomodating: they pick up and deliver my laundry. Hey! I don't have cash on me now. No problem, just drop it off at the store later.

The third piece to my wifey puzzle was put in place today. Mama was in no shape to wear the Mama/Teacher hat after teaching all day. I felt soooo guilty not assisting my own girls with their studies. I was inconsistent. Some days I had the energy to do it; others it just wasn't there. The irony. I'm a teacher working to help other parents' children achieve and here I am neglecting my own children's academic needs. My solution, a tutor. Now my girls will have someone to assist them twice a week with academic skills for which they need support. No more guilt. . . well, at least not about that. As a mother, there's always SOMETHING to feel guilty about. :)

The last part that remains to be put into place is the prep cook. I don't need the cook as much as I need the individual who will prepare the raw materials for me to cook the meal. It looks like it will be some time before that happens, but my solution so far has been to prepare two meals at once twice a week. I do it when my energy level is high and can accomplish more in the kitchen. Makes it easy for me on the days I come home and do not want to make a meal from scratch. I'll let you know if that piece to my wifey puzzle ever falls into place. But for now, "It's aliiive!"

Happy New Year

Happy New Year dear family and friends. The girls and I celebrated New Year's eve at Gary's home. It was a quiet evening watching "Hairspray", eating homemade American comfort food (made by yours truly), and just talking about every subject that comes to mind as we usually do. I am very happy that for once I didn't have to hear gunshots going off to celebrate the arrival of a new year. With the exception of one party we heard while leaving Gary's for home tonight, there weren't any obvious signs there had been a change in the calendar. I didn't hear or see any fireworks. In fact, there was more hoopla surrounding National Day than today. New Year's is celebrated but most likely is much grander in Abu Dhabi or Dubai.

As with the start of another year, I have my resolutions. The scenery has changed but the resolutions remain the same: eat better, exercise more, lose eight to ten pounds, practice patience with M&I, help M&I more with their school work, attend more to their spiritual education as well as my own spiritual development, manage my money better and save more. Same old, same old. However, not only is this a new year but I return to work in a day and will now begin the second half of the school term. (It's funny but in the stores, there are these big displays, "Back to School" with school supplies just like it was in September. The girls and I marvel at this because to us it's not "back to school"; it's just back from Christmas break.)

Besides my academic objectives which are more defined now, I want to keep some of the peaceful and relaxing attitude I've had during this vacation. Usually when I return to work, I take on a fretful mindset. One in which I'm never at peace because I always feel that I'm falling short somewhere: with my students, with my teaching, in my homelife, in my spiritual life. I want to change that. Maybe not on a grand scale because change like that is hard to do, at least for me. But in little ways, day by day. For example, instead of rushing home to begin the evening routine, a visit to one of the city's oases and meandering down its paths would help me unwind from my day in a peaceful setting and that would help set the tone for my evening. I have other ideas but I don't want this to become a mission because then it will feel like something I "should" do which is burdensome. I just want to enjoy my days and not feel this internal pressure I put on myself while I am working. So there is a true new resolution: to feel at peace whether I'm working or on vacation.

And I hope for you, whatever your resolutions or goals, that, this year, you find yourself a bit closer to achieving them than you were last year. Again, Happy New Year!

Baptism

Well, this isn't what I was asking for in terms of motivation. Today I was baptized. Yup! I had my first traffic accident. I was informed that the saying goes that sooner or later a driver is bound to have one here. I was hoping for never but you can't have everything. Fortunately, it wasn't very serious. I was rear-ended and if I had to be in an accident with someone, the gentleman who hit me was very kind.

Here when leaving a parking lot or merging into traffic, there's a lane which everyone drives the length before merging with oncoming traffic. In the States we don't use that unless we have to. Instead we wait until we can merge with the traffic. Well I was about to merge when I realized that the cab I was going to pull in front of was coming at a faster rate than I had previously thought. So I stopped but the gentleman behind me thought I was still moving forward and BAM! Gratefully, it wasn't very hard and we were all wearing seatbelts (besides the girls, I had a fellow teacher as a passenger). There was damage to my rental and a bit to the front grill of his VW.

If in an accident you must wait until the traffic officer arrives to assess who is at fault. This is the main reason I waited to get my UAE license before I rented a car. Some teachers had said cars could be rented with an international license but once you have UAE residency, which I do, that is no longer valid. If you are in an accident and don't have UAE license as a resident, it doesn't matter if the other person is at fault. You have to pay and it could be costly.

We had to wait about 30 minutes before the officer showed up. In that time, the gentleman asked if everyone in the car was okay. I assured him we were. He explained why he hit me. I told him that I understood. We agreed that since everyone was okay, then thank God, that's all that mattered. Once the officer showed up the conversation was totally in Arabic and they told me to wait in my car. Quietly sitting there I resigned myself to the fact that I'd probably be charged with the accident because I probably should have kept moving down that lane. The officer came to my window, gave me a paper and told me to take it to the car rental office. He then walked away. I sat there reading it but it was mostly in Arabic. That's when the other man came to my window to ask if I understood. I told him, "No." He proceeded to tell me that he had been charged with the accident and that his insurance would pay for the damage. That all I had to do was take that paper to the car rental agency and it would be okay. I thanked him and we shook hands. Like I said if I had to be in an accident, he was a good candidate. I'll pray for less drama tomorrow.

Trying to Find my Motivation

I haven't been blogging for some time now because I've become rather conscious that the minutae of my life is not really that interesting to others really except me. My friend, Gary, said it aptly when he described how living abroad is viewed. Yes, it's different and interesting and involves a host of varying attitudes for adjustment. But, once you are settled into a certain rhythm then it's pretty similar to life back home. Meaning that in spite of a uniquely different environment, I'm still doing the same stuff I'd be doing if I were back in the States: working, grocery shopping, doing laundry, taking care of my children, arguing with my children, entertaining my children (though this is ramped up big time because they are still creating a new support system of friends), and just doing the little things that have to be done to function as a human being on this planet. My locale makes it all seem romantic but when I begin to think about sharing it with others, it just seems mundane.

Unlike some others here I haven't done much international traveling yet so I don't have that to share right now. Plus, I've always been a person who lives very much inside her head and tend to spend much time there even here. When I think of sharing what goes through my head, I just can't. My thoughts are too private and honestly, for good writing, you just have to let go and put it all out there. That's not in my nature. So as I sift through what I'm willing to share, it really isn't all that interesting . . . at least from my pov.

Maybe instead of viewing a blog as an open journal, I'll just try and share some of the unique experiences and people I encounter. That won't seem like so much navel gazing. :)

National Day Revisited

Emirate's National Anthem

We listen to this every morning and until I looked it up for my party, I didn't know what the girls were saying. There is also their pledge which has a call and response pattern. I've looked for that but have not had any luck so far.

Live my country, the unity of our Emirates lives
You have lived for a nation
Whose religion is Islam and guide is the Quran
I made you stronger in God's name oh homeland
My country, My country, My country, My country
God has protected you from the evils of the time
We have sworn to build and work
Work sincerely, work sincerely
As long as we live, we'll be sincere sincere
The safety has lasted and the flag has lived oh our Emirates
The symbol of Arabism
We all sacrifice for you, we supply you with our blood
We sacrifice for you with our souls oh homeland

I've uploaded a slide show for my next post which will show the days events. (Instead I'll just email link to those who'd like to see it. Still can't have it out for general consumption because school children are in it. Send me a message via fb and I'll forward it to you.)

Change is Good

I moved to this blog site because I am able to publish pictures (and hopefully, videos). As this link is sent via email instead of being posted on facebook, I can share pictures of school privately instead of with the whole world